How do you say ‘fallen off the wagon’? in financial speak?

How do I explain that I CLEARLY need more than 21 days to make something a habit (including writing about the journey in this blog)

Here’s the truth:

I’ve still been great about the grocery shopping…though, I haven’t found nearly as many coupons as I originally did (but it is good to avoid buying foods you don’t need, just because you have a coupon, right?)

Target is still a downfall.  It is my ‘go-to’ for all things…home, accessories, some food, outside stuff, toys, etc.  The challenge I have:  I seem to rationalize that it is TARGET, so therefore, not that expensive.  So, why not? 

I have bought some summer clothes for the kids.  Almost all at the Children’s Place, with a coupon, but still a purchase. (This is where I’m fuzzy….i used the coupon, they needed the clothes, but I still probably got too much, right?)

I have purchased a few things for me….a little in the way of a summer wardrobe.  I’m notorious for purchasing and then returning (often b/c I can’t try stuff on with kids…they aren’t that patient, so it is easier to buy, try on at home and then return as necessary)  Also allows for the guilt factor…I can take things back if I feel bad after the fact.

And then there is the birthday party scenario.  I do buy nice cakes and I do prefer to do ‘theme’ stuff, so I do spend some (probably more than necessary) but I love planning parties.  Also a flaw.

And then…there is the desire to continue to decorate the house….trust me, I don’t shop for decor at all the big name stores..I do try to go cheap and get creative…but it still adds up.  I just need to pace myself.

But, I’m getting antsy.

help.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

The truth is….I haven’t managed to shave as much off our grocery bills as I would like…but there is a big factor working against me…..wait for it….I know, you’re feeling it too….the price of food is ever-increasing!

How am I supposed to cut $30 off our weekly grocery bill if the increase is more than $20?  I have to admit, it is making me crazy.  Crazy that I can follow all of the ‘cutting your grocery bill’ tips I’ve managed to unearth (1. use coupons, 2. skip the pre-packaged/pre-cut stuff - it is highly over priced, 3. try some store brands, 4. stick to the outer limits of the store for the fresh fruits and veggies, 5. try out Aldi’s or a warehouse store) and still not cut that much off…..why, you ask?  Because all of the foods are more expensive.

So, you know what?  I’m going to say it….I’m proud of myself!  In a time when grocery bills are skyrocketing…I’m managing to keep us from paying more.  I may not be saving a lot, but damnit, I’m saving some (and our grocery bill hasn’t increased….that has to count for something!)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

How easy is it to fall right back into poor money managemen?  I’m here to tell you….it is pretty easy if you let your guard down.

I was so very proud of my great savings…and the progress I had made in saving and limiting spending….but then, the spending freeze ends.  I haven’t been a crazy shopper, but I have noticed a big mistake I’m making AGAIN. 

I stopped taking the time to inventory.  Therefore, I now have 2 full boxes of Cheerios and Raisin Bran, an additional container of sour cream, an extra tub of parm cheese, lemonade we didn’t need, paper towels we weren’t ready for, enough salad dressing to feed the masses and more lotion than a girl can use.  My problem….I didn’t have these items on my list….but as I walked by them in the store, I worried we might be out.  Well….we weren’t.  The truth is, we will eventually use most of it (provided the perishables don’t go bad) but it is so aggravating to ‘impulse purchase’ only to be reminded of WHY I was making the lists duing the spening freeze.

However, in the past week, I have walked away from a new pair of shoes, a bathing suit for Delaney, shirt and shorts for Coop, a few new books and a shelving unit that probably wouldn’t have been what I needed anyway

I’m still trying!  I’m open for any money-saving suggestions!

(I have to admit….I’m pretty impressed that our weekly grocery/Target costs are still down despite the ever rising cost of food!)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Yes….I’m celebrating.  Yep, dancing in the streets.

The 21 day spending freeze is over.  In fact, it ended on Friday and it has taken me the last few days to ruminate on my savings and determine the depth of my new money understanding.

Thank you, MommySavers and their Forget About the Joneses Project!

My grand savings is estimated at about $755. (This doesn’t include anything that tempted me…this is just based on what I ‘normally spend’.

I managed to cut just over $300 off our grocery/Target bill by cutting more coupons, planning the weeks’ meals before heading to the store, making a grocery list and sticking to it, refusing impulse buying at Target (books, shoes, house decor, etc)

I eliminated about $55 by avoiding all food, snacks, drinks while we were out and about.  I packed all of our lunches and made sure I had extra drinks stored in the car.

I cut about $400 in additional expenses: this includes (but isn’t limited to) spring clothes for the kids, getting my nails done, plants for outside, books for the kids, birthday gifts, home decor, just EVERYTHING else!

Here’s what I learned:  I can stick to eliminating the extra cash I was spending on groceries and Target.  This is smart shopping.  However, I don’t want to always refuse a lunch out, or a drink when everyone is thirsty.

As for the extra: the spending freeze has taught me to THINK about my purchases before I make them.  This doesn’t mean I won’t spend anything on fixing up the house, and it certainly doesn’t mean I won’t buy the kids clothes when they need them.  But, now I am more aware of the difference between WANT and NEED.

I want to buy some flowers for the outside of the house.  I’m going to use the coupon I just received in the mail (see it is good that I waited….now I have the coupon).  I want to get the kids some new clothes for summer. (I got suckered into using a discount at Gymboree and now I’m bitter about it and taking the clothes back - see my blog post about it here) So, that frees up some money I spent.

For me: this is about being smart and savvy.  This is about losing the impulse.  This is about shopping with a purpose and a list.  This is about taking stock and only buying what we need. (I’ve learned my lesson…I’ve come home too many times with some tortillas, some paper towels, some garlic powder - only to find I already had it!)

Now, I’m keeping track of what I spend. 

I made my first trip to Aldi’s. (I’ve heard so much about it…I finally had to go, but I had to leave the kids home with daddy so I could focus!)  Though the store is small…I was impressed.  For $25 I bought: a head of lettuce, 2 gallons of milk, a bag of 10 oranges, a bottle of wine, a jar of strawberry jam, cereal bars, popsicles, noodles, red grapes and butter. (oh..and 10 cents for 2 paper bags).  I was giddy with excitement.  However, the oranges aren’t as good, and neither is the jam, but this is an experiment, right? 

Every little bit I save is a bonus!

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

OK…so, I’ve been doing the 21 day Spending Freeze with the Forget About the Joneses Project now for 19 days. 

I’ve spent a little and saved a lot.  Step 9 is Reflection….or determining what I have learned during my money fast.  The idea isn’t entirely the ’saving’…it is to learn about my spending habits and revise as necessary.

It has been at times harrowing (dragging myself by the hair out of Target, for example), at times rewarding (did you read the money saved in the last post????  I’m over $400 for the month)

I’ve learned it was easier than I thought to pass up the little stuff: the occasional soda, the icee mocha.  It was easier than I knew to ‘take stock’ before I head out the door so I don’t buy something we already have.  I bet taking stock has accounted for at least 40% of my savings.

It was harder than I thought to ‘walk away’ from my prior self….you know the girl who grabbed the magazine or book she’d been wanting to read and just dropped it in the cart.  Harder to check my pride at the door and not purchase new placemats or pillows when company is coming over.

I am proud of the creativity I’ve accessed within myself….for doing a little decorating, for present giving and for playing with the kids. (we haven’t visited one play event that required money….though we are going to the zoo tomorrow - but I’ve learned to pack a lunch and drinks….so, since the zoo is free, we won’t need to spend any money!)  The warmer weather has really helped in this department.

I’m a little nervous about my prior self dancing a jig right now..wanting to go back to ‘normal’.  But, my husband has been so thrilled…I think I can keep myself in check.    In truth, he really thought this was all about saving…but I explained that I am trying to bridge the financial divide that exists between us.

We were raised with such different understandings and relationships with money.  I believed ‘want’ and ‘need’ were closely related, credit cards were ok and ‘it will all work out’.  He was raised to save, to walk away instead of buy if he didn’t have the cash, and to prepare for the future.  We were both extremes and are working towards a middle ground….but a big part of that middle ground is my recognition of the way we want to teach our children about money.

I want them to respect it, to be grateful for the opportunity to earn it and to think long and hard before they part with it.  So, here I am, practicing what I intend to preach.

The next Step - Step 10 - is to begin tracking my spending - all of it.  I have to do it for the next 6 weeks.  In the mean time, Step 11 is a modified Spending Freeze (this is all, of course, assuming I can make it to day 21 - midnight on Thursday!)  The modified Spending Freeze means I can purchase things we ‘want’  that we can afford, but no impulse buying.  If I want it, I have to come home, write it down and see if it is still something we want the next day.

Wish me luck.

Of course, you can start this procss yourself by heading over to MommySavers.com

And, don’t forget to visit us at www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Step 7  of my Forget about the Joneses challenge is ‘Celebrate my victories’.

How exciting, I actually have some!

1) I have managed to save quite a bit of money by looking around my house before I leave to head to the grocery store or Target.  I am notorious for buying something (cereal, sour cream, cheese, yogurt, apples, cleaning supplies, soap, toilet paper) because I think we need it.  Sadly, I am almost always wrong and I end up with 2 full bottles of ground cinnamon (that should last until 2020)  This has been especially effective as I have beenplanning our meals and making note of the recipes before I leave the house.  It also worked like a charm to make sure I had wrapping supplies ready to go (instead of buying new)

2) Spicing up gifts with a variety of smaller items saved me about $15 a gift (total saved $45) in the past 2 weeks.

3) I printed out coloring sheets for the kids from the computer instead of buying new coloring books

4) I cut $300 from our monthly average of gas, groceries, target, Dr. appts.

5) I cut $400 from our monthly outflow which includes everything from kid’s clothes to gifts for friends/family

6) We’re on track to be under by about $500+ this month!

I’m feeling like a Savings Rock Star!

Step 8 - Figure out your Net worth (You can get a printable worksheet from MommySavers.com here)

This is something my husband and I have done before.  We are up on this.  Our bills are minimal as we don’t carry credit card balances..but it would be great to knock off some housing expenses!

I’ll write again later tonight with another update!

Yep…that’s me.  And this is why the ‘Forget about the Joneses’ project is a challenge for me.

I prefer to buy ‘outfits’ that I can see already together.

I am guilty of allowing myself to be ‘up-sold’ with accessories and add-ons.

If you send me coupons, even if I don’t need anything from your store, I am likely to at least come to the sale, if not purchase. (can I consider this ‘money saving in my future’ b/c I might eventually need it?)

I have a folder in my email called ’store coupons’.

And, good heavens, give me a $25 off my next $50 purchase when I buy….I am coming back.

Clearly, these are flaws.  And, for the most part, I have successfully supressed these urges for the last 15 days.

But not today.  I just had to use my ‘bucks’ for $50 off a $100 purchase.  Here’s the thing…my window to use the coupon closed tomorrow.  The store sells kids clothes, and since my little ones are, well, little, most of their clothing from last year doesn’t fit anymore.  So, they do need clothes that fit.  And, the best part is, I can take them back if I determine they don’t need what I got (damn I got some cute stuff!)

I am trying to figure out how to tame the ‘excess’ so that I don’t go right back to where I was at the end of my 21 days.  It will definitely be a relief to avoid the ‘failure’ feeling when I decide to spend on something that isn’t life-sustaining, but I want to make sure I still manage to save as much as possible.

After about a month, I should be able to tally how much I’ve cut from our regular spending.  I’ll keep you updated.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

I have, in fact, spent a little ‘unnecessary’ money in the past few days. 

It felt freeing.

That’s bad, right?

I’m suposed to be saving, saving and saving.  Not spending ANYTHING unnecessary.  It is all still part of “Forgeting about the Joneses”.

I keep making excuses: “I’ve been good so far.”, “It was only $34.”, “I would have spent it as soon as the 21 days were up anyway.”  I feel a little like a failure, but that is ok.  I’m giving myslef permission to fall off the savings wagon.

I told you at the beginning of my 21 days that there would be a few ‘challenges’ in my future.  One of them was a party at my house on Monday night.  It was a direct sales party.   I knew it would be trouble because the stuff is darling - monogrammed bags and purses, stuff for the kids, etc.  Since I was co-hosting the party, my friend and I got ‘free stuff’.  I was given a dollar amount I could spend free, a 1/2 price item and 15% off.  Sorry (I know I’m a marketer’s dream) but I couldn’t help it.  The fun part is - my $34 dollars actually got me a $100 worth of goodies.  Since I wouldn’t be hosting a party again and therefore wouldn’t have the chance to save on a few things I wanted, I just did it.

I really was hoping I could gloat in triumph at the end of the 21 days having spent NOTHING over my absolute necessities.  Not so much.

I’m really so close.  Only 9 days to go.  Cross your fingers for me!

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

How is this for a little ‘pump me up’?

I am in charge of most of the day to day spending in our family.  We have one credit card and we pay it off at the end of every month.  We use the card for most expenses because we LOVE the cash back~

I went back through the last year’s credit card and added up everything we have spent on groceries, Target, doctor’s visits, prescriptions, and gas.  And then I came up with a monthly average.

Here’s the great news~  By watching what I’m spending (and doing the freeze) I cut $300 off that average in the last month!

Yipee!

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

I’m trying to curb my less than perfect attitude about spending.  This means I am talking to myself more than ever before.  And the conversations are often unpleasant.  My buying side and my new-found savings side don’t always agree.

Take for example, my home, and my desire to decorate.  We’ve lived here for just over and year and most of the walls are still empty and virtually every room feels incomplete.  Nothing makes the walls more obvious to me than when I am having guests over.  Like, tonight.  I physically forced myself to continue walking past Target’s home section this morning.  I HATE the pillows we have on our couch.  I’ve been eyeing some new ones for quite some time.  I saw them today.  I held them.  I petted them.  I squished them.  I put them back.  This stinks.

While some of this is getting a bit more tolerable: the grocery shopping for example, the day to day is not yet fun.  I realize that this 21 day stint is a lesson in ‘thinking before I buy’, and that is good, but the list of things I need/want when I am done is increasing. 

Everything from summer sandals for Delaney (it is a need if she doesn’t have any, right?) to those new pillows.  I also desperately want to buy some flowers for outside now that (God willing) the cold snap is nearing an end.  I know that isn’t a need, but I do think some ‘wanting’ is ok.  Correct me if I’m wrong.

And then there is the party tonight. (MONEY SAVING TIP: SHARE PARTY THROWING RESPONSIBILITY WITH A FRIEND - you both invite friends and split the appetizers and drinks.) So, I’ve saved some money on the party tonight, but I haven’t been presented with the opportunity to buy the party’s goodies yet.  I’ll have to update later on that. I have a feeling that this might be a small downfall for me. (But, perfection is boring, right?)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com